Shelton RossGrooming is a gradual, insidious process that enables the perpetrator to instill trust in the victim for a certain period intending to take advantage of that trust at some point. While this is a common feature of child sexual abuse, online exploitation, or forced prostitution, which is the scope of this article, it raises further questions about the psychology of wrongful blaming. In some cases, such as these, where the victim of abuse is often accused of causing their own victimization, the idea of victim blaming is both ethically and mentally disturbing. It is important to analyse whether such a victim can be held responsible for the circumstances they were fished into and if such blaming is unjust, how shall society cope with the ravenous effects of victimization.
The present article will focus on the stages of grooming, its effects on the victim’s psyche, and the reasons why it is unreasonable and detrimental to blame the victim. In accomplishing these goals, we will be better able to identify the culpability of the offender and foster an environment that is healing for victims.
Learning Grooming: The Process of Manipulation
Grooming as a process can also be called a hostile tactic of psychological abuse, which an adult offender uses to establish the presence and win the heart of the child rather. It mostly begins with fairly innocent actions and takes its course later as the abuse inflicts lots of pressure upon insertion of nakedness into the victim. Such fancy terms as grooming can imply romance with some patterns of love including offering presents, being attentive, being supportive, and surprisingly being secretive.
Grooming is dangerous since it is often difficult for victims of grooming to realize that they are being groomed. The abuser exploits their power to cut off the victim from all potential helpers and witnesses of the abuse. This methodical nature of grooming brings the result that by the time the interaction turns violent, the survivor may feel that they are already attached to or indebted to their aggressor and so even more unlikely to report the situation or try to leave it.
The owner of a stalking disorder usually finds an easy target in people who are easy to control like children or those with low self-images, then uses needless tactics like affection, praise, and attention. This dependence is what prevents many of the victims from seeing the efforts to control and develop in the perpetrator, much less oppose. More often than not, some of these retalitory measures would include blaming the victim for the abuse that he is subjected to.
What is the explanation that Victim-blaming is Bad
Everyone around the victim of abuse society, even friends or the abuser’s re-victimization victim, engages in what is called victim blaming. Such a way of thinking implies that the victim had some capacity to prevent the abuse or somehow adapt for its avoidance. This is particularly true in the cases of grooming because more oft than not the victim does not realize that they are being groomed and the intentions of their abuser until it is way too late.
This blame does not only cause pain and aggravate the existing trauma, but also create new layers to the trauma, further mistreating the victim. They are not unduly perceived as a target of maneuver and imposition, rather they are blamed for being self-exploitative. It results in internalized guilt, shame, and painful self-isolation, all of which makes healing and recovery even more difficult.
To prevent cases of grooming, the perpetrator usually targets a child or someone who is cognitively impaired and experienced control coercion. When someone is abused and they become the subject of blame, the feelings of self-doubt and self-pity may be unduly compounded making it impossible to seek help or escape from the situation.
Thus, aside from seeking conditions for the justice of the crime, the non-originality of the concept of ‘victim’ allows one to easily develop the principle of perception from the point of view of the aggressive mass. Since it legitimizes aggressive approaches towards abuse, if a victim’s violence is coconspired by further victimizing the victim, it succumbs to the harshest vengeance in a sexist manner: it fails to have an ultimate aim. Such violence makes an attempt more than it legitimizes aggression.
The Denigration of the ‘Groomed’ Victims
They also adopt extreme situations and norms that lead to victimization as one seeks to inflict violence directed towards them collapse’s in that they have been subjected to it for a prolonged period. Several confounding problems are usually experienced after the patient undertakes the responsible measures of eradicating the personality of the abuser. There are instances of more severely abused children seeking therapy where it can be very difficult for the therapist to gain the child’s trust.
Revising sentences, exploring underlying themes and problems, or inducing risks and suffering into their lives helps the victims to cultivate resentment towards themselves. Grooming is a process whereby the victim is manipulated in a manner that makes them feel responsible for the abuse. Words like “You wanted this,” or “You are special” aid in gaslighting victims into believing they consented to the act of abuse. Jans provided that, due to the fact that grooming necessarily occurs over some time span, the victims may, however, recognize their abuse only when it is already many steps away from them. It is even worse because by that time, the manipulations will have been so extensive that the victim will consider him or herself to be the cause of all.
Grooming victims do not only suffer emotional wounds but are also more likely to develop anxiety, depression, PTSD or difficulties in trust and relationships. Rather traumatic these mental conditions tend to become, especially when the victim is being accused for her own abuse. Rather than be relieved of the burden, which they are rightfully entitled to, and given the necessary guidance on how to recover, they end up feeling guilty and abandoned about what was done to them.
Why the Victim Blaming Perspective Should Be Off-The-Table
When someone looks at a person who has been groomed and is a victim, that person fails to understand that there is abuse that is perpetrated due to power differences. It is always the predator who exploits the victim and not the other way round. The abuser constructs a psychological cage around the victim so that the victim is disoriented and doesn’t understand that abuse is taking place even though it is very obvious to everyone around them.
In instances of grooming, for instance, it is important to know that such a victim was probably not able to stop the abuse in the first place. Consequently, victims of grooming are systematically conditioned so that they do not even realize that they are being groomed. They may portray themselves as a loving figure which makes it harder for the victim to shift their unconditional positive regard to them.
Moreover, it is mainly children and the weak who are targeted by groomers because it is simply much easier to work on them. They may not be equipped emotionally or otherwise to deal with the active or imaginative decoying. It is unreasonable to expect them to behave other than they do or stop the abuse so that the blame is placed on them and not the perpetrator.
Challenging Victim-Blaming Culture- It is important to note that in order to curb victim-blaming, it is imperative to address the attitudes of people that contribute to this negative practice. Understanding that it exists and how it affects the people being groomed is critical to changing these views. It should also be made clear to people that involved in the act of grooming, there is no willing victim, they are people being controlled by another person.
One way to combat victim blaming is to focus on survivor-centered systems of support. Instead of concentrating on what the victim did or did not do, the emphasis should be on assisting the victim’s recovery from the traumatic experiences. Therefore, emotional, therapeutic, or legal care is given without bias or partisanship.
Moreover, there is a need to change the way the media portrays grooming and the victims. Victim blaming emerges such that in most cases, victims are made to be interrogated on their actions not the action of the predator. This gives rise to a perspective where the victim’s autonomy on how to, when to, or if to, even ask questions is overemphasized and thus contributes to the predisposition of blaming the victim culture. The media must address and focus on the perpetrators of sexual violence and abuse, rather on the manipulation and control in the process of grooming.
The Function of Policing and Judicial Systems
Policing and judicial systems are of importance in combating grooming and preventing blaming of the victims. Police officers / judges and other legal workers should be trained in the ways of grooming in order for them to consider it from a stand point of the victim having been abused and not being a co-conspirator.
Oftentimes, victims are fearful about reporting abuse as they are worried that they would not be believed or that they might be made into the perpetrator. It is important for law enforcement to gain the confidence of survivors as many feel reluctant to report due to fear. The courts also need to understand that in such cases where victims have been groomed, there is a risk of power of abuse and high chances of non reporting the abuse or resisting it and the actions of the law should take that into consideration.
Conclusion
Victims of grooming should never be held accountable for the abuses. Grooming is coercive and consists of established mechanisms that target the vulnerable peoples making it hard for them to notice the coercion or come against it. Apportioning the blame on the victims only adds insult on injury as it perpetuates the culture of silence on abuse. Rather more attention should be given to the survivors, abusers held responsible, and members of the community teach about grooming. Real care for victims demands changing focus from victims to perpetrators.
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